ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
