Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
