Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
