I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
