i think my tv is drunk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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