I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
