Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
