He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
