Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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