barbara walters just said penis...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
