I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you traded sex for a burrito?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
