I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
