i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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