hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
MIDGETS
????
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
