I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I touched a dick in church today
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
