I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
