what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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