We won't sleep together?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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