True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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