There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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