It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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