I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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