What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
