The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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