used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
