he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
