At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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