My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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