why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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