so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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