I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it glows. i had to have it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
