he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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