the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
false alarm, still single
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
