According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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