If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
