That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
