She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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