i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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