Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
