when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
