Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
