Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
