I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
