super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
