You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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