Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
