Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
