so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
