I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
