South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
