Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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