is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
