Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
