Dude my mom stole all your condoms
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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